NEW DELHI — The Ministry of External Affairs firmly rebuked the European Union and Pakistan on Tuesday, patiently explaining that the territory continuously discussed in international joint statements remains a completely private, unobserved domestic matter.

"We reject all third-party commentary on our sovereign affairs," said a ministry spokesperson, reading from a document previously used to dismiss identical concerns raised by the Organization of Islamic Cooperation in 2019, members of the United States Congress in 2021, and a China-Pakistan delegation in 2023. Officials confirmed the ministry has streamlined the process of issuing strong demarches whenever a foreign bloc attempts to demonstrate its commitment to human rights without taking any binding action.

Diplomatic sources praised the EU's carefully calibrated joint statement, noting it successfully achieved the bloc's strategic goal of appearing even-handed while maintaining enough ambiguity to avoid alienating regional trade partners. The periodic exchange of mild irritants occurs as the government actively attempts to promote a narrative of post-Article 370 development and normalcy to the exact same foreign entities it is currently rebuking.

At press time, archival staff were reportedly filing the latest diplomatic protest into a cabinet alongside the 2019, 2021, and 2023 rejections, ensuring the "internal matter" template remains easily accessible for next year's international summit.